We found an article recently that We absolutely loved. It talked very directly about what a parent should say to a child after a performance. Contrary to what you might expect, what you say to your child after they perform is almost more important than what you say before!

Why? It’s because your words create a lasting memory for them, and can either be something that encourages them or discourages them.

If you’re used to giving “constructive comments” after a recital, believe us when we say that we know you’re trying to help. In that article that we referenced earlier, the author actually referenced Division One athletic players. He said that parents, even at that level of professionalism, still call coaches asking why their son isn’t playing more and critiquing the plays that have been made! You might be like, “What?!” Yep….it even happens at that level.

So what words can be helpful before and after a performance? Here are some ideas adapted from this article:

Before Performance:

  • Have Fun!
  • Do your best.
  • I love you.

After Performance:

  • What did you enjoy most about today?
  • I’m so proud of you for doing your best!
  • I love you.

 As you can see, you don’t find the words, “Don’t forget to go slow!” “Don’t forget that one spot you practiced hard on!” or “You did ok…you didn’t get that one part right, but it was still good.”

Words truly speak volumes and can have a huge impact on a child’s life, especially at a vulnerable time like a performance can be.

But we want to close with six specific words that we would challenge you to say to your child after every performance, and even when you hear him practicing at home.

The words are, “I love to hear you play (or sing).”

Notice how your child responds… we promise those words will make a difference!

To read the full article to which I was referring to, please click here.

January 28, 2020
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Category: Good Habits, Recital

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